tabulas.com

henry and i are sharing some smokes outside target during our break time.  he then starts telling me his love story with some woman i still don't know a name for. 

he tells me how he used to be so in love with her.  how things were going fantastically great. 

the love.  the little pda here and then.

"but then", he says, "she changed.   it was over just like that.  she told me she couldn't do it anymore". 

i take his lighter and fire up my cig, and reply, that sounds familiar.

"I asked her what was wrong.  what did i do wrong, or what did we do wrong.  she told me she just couldn't settle with me.  not while she was still young.  not while there's still some much to see and do out there", he says. 

And i can sense his sadness and dispair in his voice.  the way he talks about her.  about they used to have before. 

he then turns and says, "i didn't know you smoke". 

i say, yeah, on occasion.  one of the many bad habits i've happend to pick up during my little self destructive cycle.  my destructive phase.  and people seem so surprised when they see me do this.  my parents.  my brothers.  my friends, or rather, the people that know me. 

like catching jesus watching porn.

"i spoke with her a few days ago.  she's dating this fucking jerk now.  she told me she slept with him, but it's just not the same.  not as what she and i used to have".

i asked him, why in the blue fuck did she had to go and tell you that she slept with the asshole?  what is she trying to do?  make it seem like what she did it's not that bad?  as if sleeping with the dude, but not feeling the love, is alright.  as if you're gonna be cool with that shit.  i mean, what the fuck. 

then i stop, and realize that i might've said too much.  or rather, let my past surface and shape my words.

"I still love her", he says.  "I still want her back".

In spite of everything that has happend?

I tell him, even if you could go back to her, do you really think things would be the same as before?

i think not.

And i suppose these things happen.  when one person leaves, the other is left with unanswered questions.

left to wonder.  with too much time in their hands. 

like an exodus.